Cassius V.

“Candid of me with the flag.”

Syke. The United States sucks. I recently befriended a Native who’s been teaching me so much about the North American aboriginal plight, mostly when we’re fucking wastey-face at 3 a.m., but the conversations are amazing with or without Captain Morgan in my liver.

8 Shits Lindsay P. Has Taught Me:

1. Thanksgiving was declared a national holiday by Abraham Lincoln, in honor of the genocide of Natives. You’re not celebrating shit but glorified death.

2. Crazy racism is still prevalent in Natives’ lives. They are hassled and mistreated by Anglo Americans DAILY, on a level I would liken to the way Black Americans were treated during the Jim Crow era. Teased for their last names, called “dirty Indians,” treated as trespassers, and not supported by the local government. TODAY.

3. “Native American” is an oxymoron. If ye need explaining, slap yourself and try again.

4. All Natives are fucking sexy (ask my girlfriend).

5. You know that really cool statue currently being built of chief Crazy Horse in South Dakota? The really freakin’ huge one where he’s on a horse and he’s pointing at something (anything), and it’s taking forever to finish? Well, actually, it’s not really cool, because Crazy Horse never wanted his picture to be taken because he believed it would entrap his soul. THANKS, SOUTH DAKOTA DOUCHE BAGS.

6. Natives have to carry around Native identification cards to prove that they are Native. What the fuck????????? Uh, reminds me of something. Oh yeah, that little shit stain called World War II. Nazi Germany?? Jews were forced to sew the Star of David on their clothing to be visible at all times??? Natives are the ONLY ethnic minority in the U.S. that must carry around an ID to “prove” who they are.

7. It’s rare when Natives get their university school fees paid for by the government. There are negative stereotypes and positive stereotypes. That’s a positive one that isn’t really true.

8. There’s this Native revolution called Idle No More, where Natives are attempting to take back their stolen land from The Man. Apparently it’s super legit, and it all makes sense in legal documents. So yeah. Google it and don’t love America.

This is the shadow of my very attractive hand. Just lettin’ the aspiring young men out there know that the width of your hands, joints and knuckles WILL get wider if you start testosterone. ‘Cause these changes are slower and subsequently less noticeable, a lot of guys mention bigger hands and feet like they’re not sure if they’re just fucking crazy. It creeps up on you. Literally, one day I looked down at my hands and all of a sudden they were brawny and handsome. But yeah check this out:

In adult men, testosterone continues to play an important role. It aids in the growth and strength of muscles and bones, increases sperm count, and regulates libido or sex drive. Because of this, men always need to maintain a healthy level of testosterone. 

It’s real, folks. It’s real and it’s coming to get you. High five!

Achoo!

• Me: *Hands ID to professor*
• Professor: *Stares, confused, at ID*
• Me: Yep, that's my name.
• Professor: Oh!
• Me: You can see why I don't go by it.
• Professor: ...Is that a family name or something?
• Me: No, my family's just from a different country, so it's pronounced differently than it looks.
• Professor: Where are they from?
• Me: Belize.
• Professor: How's it pronounced?
• Me: It's Ma-law-nee.
• Professor: Hm...

Me and…me.

I never told you this, but I’ve been off hormone replacement therapy for almost 4 months. I ran out of my testosterone (boo) in June, but I couldn’t get a refill because I couldn’t pay my doctor’s bill. By the time I paid the bill, my doctor’s office said it was too late and I wasn’t allowed to be a patient there anymore. What the?? I mean, I guess that makes sense, but it’s still sort of fucked up. I’m at a different doctor now, and I had my first shot today. There are the good and the bad when stopping the man juice, but here’s what happened when I wasn’t on T:

1. Voice heightened a little bit, but still in a man’s range.

2. Fat redistributed..again…around my hips (or wherever your fat goes). Very depressing.

3. Grew self conscious and less confident in my manhood; therefore, became moody.

4. Period returned around 2 months after I stopped HRT.

5. I was still seen as male the whole time. Woohoo! Although I did have nightmares about people thinking I was a girl.

6. Acne resigned to an almost pre-T level around 3 1/2 months.

7. Was able to cry more easily.

At first I didn’t care that much to get back on T. I was being seen as male the whole time, but my confidence relapsed to a sad level as the months progressed. However, as my unclothed body began to look more feminine, I’ll note that I was more comfortable looking at it than before I took testosterone. I blame that on the masculinity of my face. It was like a girl body with a dude face, rather than a girl body and girl face. Lol. I’m just glad I got my injection today, because things would have just continued downhill from here.

The structural formula of testosterone cypionate.

What? Did someone say “Tattoo”?

This here is a fresh vile of testosterone, ladies and gents (and everything in between).

Alex and me, also known as Aaliyah and That Guy From Three Men And A Baby

(For those of you who were not out in high school)

(As anything)

(Not even gay)

(And everyone thought you were heterosexual/normative)

What do you do when you run into people from high school? Is it awkward? Because every time I see randoms from high school I get so weird. I mean, just like every other cool person in the world, I hated high school. In high school I was just Fucked* (*Yes, capital “F”). I didn’t feel like I fit in anywhere, nor was I like myself at all. I’m so different now, but when I see people from West I practically revert back to my dorky-ass 15-year-old self, and I’m thinking PLEASE DON’T RECOGNIZE ME and then I’m just like, “Er uh were uh uh.” AWKWARD!

Anyone feel me on this? Anyone know how to ease the transgender awkwardness a little bit?